I have a supervisor at the lemonade stand, Maria, and she is not good at her job. I don't think she actually understands what she's supposed to be doing. I'm not sure if she's lazy, or dumb, or perhaps both. I think it's both. She spends most of her day chatting with co-workers about nonsense, and then complains about how much work she has to do and how little time to do it. Maria fails to understand that whining is eating up most of her work day.

And I've never really see her do any work. I've really only seen her pass the buck or "delegate" work to others. Maria doesn't seem to realize that if you delegate work to someone it's still someone else's words and ideas. It is fun to fuck something up and let her pretend it's hers and simply enjoy the fall out. One needs to have a little fun at work. And I figure someone who's a total douchebag about intellectual property kind of deserves it.

Boss loves her and thinks she should be in upper management. I think so, too. Anything to get her the hell away from me would be prefered. I also think she'd get fired rather quickly because the inability to think would probably become more obvious. Also, if she didn't have a group of people to explain the basic workings of a lemonade stand, she'd be seriously screwed. If a customer asks a simple question it will often baffle her.

Boss told me a story once about a place he used to work and how it received a serious threat to public safety. Boss conferred with the police department who explained that 90% of the time it's not real. Boss did not evacuate the building and nothing bad happened. He uses this story to illustrate that people have time to make decisions, and they don't have to jump to conclusions. Maria likes to use this story as a reason not to respond to pertinent issues brought to her attention in person, or through email. She says she wants to think about it, but she never really gets back to you about it. I imagine circus music playing in her head because whatever her brain is filled with it's not work related.

Me, I'd have evacuated the building. I tend to ere on the side of people being alive and it's a risky little game he played that could have had dire consequences. I also think do what's at hand now rather than putting it off in the hope that it will turn out to be nothing.

Bee!

Meet My Boss

I'd worked at The Lemonade Stand for a number of years before my current boss began. Previously I'd worked for an extraordinary individual who had vision and passion for lemonade. It's really hard to go from a boss like that to...well...a dud.

The first time I met Boss I thought he was charming, highly intelligent, and would be a fantastic leader.

He's not. Not any of those words. Not even a little bit.

When you think he's being charming he's actually trying to persuade you to like him because he's a total phony. If it's not about him, he doesn't really care. Most Mondays I get this refrain:

Boss: Bee! Great to see you! How was your weekend.

Bee: Good, how was - (Bee stops speaking as Boss has walked past her and is busy greeting other staff members in the same regard)

Greetings for the rest of the week aren't that much different. I'm pretty sure people who actually care how your weekend was will usually stop and listen for your reply. Pretty sure...

As for intelligence, the man talks a good game. He's not well read, but I think he's read at least one  quotation book to seem that way. He's got a quip from everyone from Plato to Bob Marley to express his feelings at any given situation. I don't know about you, but I don't trust people who can't EVER find their own words to express themselves. I bet he quoted a Celine Dion song when he asked his wife to marry him. (He's actually said that he likes Celine Dion, so that might not be an exaggeration).

As for being a fantastic leader...he's not even half-decent. For someone who has the current "It" book for business prominently displayed on the edge of his desk, you'd think he'd crack a spine every now and again. He never exhibits a love of lemonade that seems true and honest. It's like he picked a career in lemonade, but only because he thought yellow was a favorable color for his complexion. The only place I'd ever want to follow this is so-called leader is to his car, after he's packed up all his belongings from his office. Then I want to applaud while he drives off to a new job somewhere far, far away.

He kind of wins you over every now and again though because I don't think he's an inherently bad guy. He's got a big ego and lousy self esteem and we all know that's the combination that creates a douchebag. I always feel like such a sucker when I buy back into the idea that he cares about lemons and lemonade stands, but he has consistently proven himself a huge phony, so I now actively avoid interacting with him. Usually if he passes my section of the lemonade stand I will turn away and reach for ice or something. Ignoring him helps me get through the day. Plus it's a fun little game that plays with his mind.

He can, however, be occasionally funny. There was one instance that he and I were standing at the front of the lemonade stand and a toddler wearing a harness was threatening to overturn a barrel of lemons. Boss turned to me and said, "Guess we know why that kid's wearing a leash."

He has some good lines. Just wish he was more of a good guy.

So that's Boss. More soon.

Bee!